caryn

2006-01-29T21:55:00.000-08:00

I CHANGED MY BLOG.

oh yah. carynrocks.

2006-01-27T18:24:00.000-08:00

AND WA LA I DID IT. don't bother asking. i'll tell you if i want to.

2006-01-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

i've got this motivation to change blog. i know its irritating, but blah, i need a new start. desperately. this blog holds too much depressing entries. and when i do (which i WILL), it'll be a totally different concept. (:

i'm changing in ways you can't comprehend. a wrong move and i'm sure you'll regret.

me nd meisy did it again. we walked into school, sat down for 5 mins, took our bags and left school. i tell you, we are the number 1 pon ten-ners. no one can comes before us. jerald's our best friend too. mel's the best. she didn't bother coming at all. :D frigging proud of her baby.

stupid melvin and joel refused to pon with us. but who cares? so it was me meis and jerald. headed to serangoon gardens for prata. darren (who hasn't gone to school for, let me guess, a week?) met us nd ltr darlg mel came too. we headed to darren's house. fooled arnd nd spent 1 solid hour watching russell peters nd laughing our asses off. hilarious.

left and waited for adelinetan for 2hrs. but it was fine. (: i had my cleo mag. but it was frigging expensive. and now, im frigging broke. i'm going to beg my daddy tml.

didn't talk to eyecandy today, cos i didn't go to school. but who cares either? it doesn't affect me. (: im a little superhero girl.

ciao babies! i need my beauty sleep. damn eyelids are heavy.

2006-01-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

OG 8 OUTING!

today me and meisy didn't pon a class at all. (: our reputation stay yah. something bad happened today at school, hope everything turns out for the best in the end. we only have 3 weeks left, don't let this thing go on anymore.

after school OG 8 headed for marina square and sushi-ed! okay we literally stuffed ourselves with sushi, and the 3 tables had this competition. in the end the girls lost, obviously.

anw those who went today were me, melissa, meisy, wenjing, evon, melvin, joel, joel, nicholas, darren, jerald, aaron and eric. haha.

okaay and today at school i went crazy. my gang knows why. i was flushed up to my ears. haha (X

ahhh.. sometimes i wish we had more communication. face to face. but what am i talking abt. nothing really gets through sms or msn. but i guess. owell. we don't even phone.

owell. i'm off. bye!

2006-01-23T21:36:00.000-08:00

sometimes i really want to just shake you real hard and ask, "what's your problem?" but seriously, there's no way i can literally shake you cos i can't even see you in the first place. how corny.

anw. today i skipped school. it went like this.

it was another one of those gloomy monday morning and i was still suffering from monday blues. met adeline at the busstop and walked into school. upon reaching the foyer, i get a phonecall from melissa. and i was alert instantaneously. and okay, the rest was history. i love them loads. they totally made my day!

watched in her shoes too. (:

oh yah, JERK.

bye people. ciao.

2006-01-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

i'm going back to the drawing board, find the mistakes and make amends. it'll always be like this till it reaches perfection, and i'm ready for it.

went for yiching's pri school gathering at her place. it was ironically mixed with feelings of happiness and a tinge of sadness. even though the atmosphere seemed cheery, but everyone, i'm sure, couldn't help feeling it. yiching's off to australia for 6 six years, i'm going to cry. oman 6 years. 4 years apart is one thing, 6 years is another. but facades do come in handy, everyone kept the mood lighthearted.

i'll definitely miss her. tons and tons.

and update: o level release of results has been brought forward to the 6-10 of feb. sigh. the news just gets worse doesn't it.

tml i'm beaching with deborah. and i bet we'll have a heart to heart talk. i can't wait!

ok i gotta go.
byee.

well, things are better i guess. or maybe its just mundane. but i guess mundane is better than bad. i should count my blessings.

2006-01-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

' in this world there's real and make believe
which one do you want to be? '

promises promises promises promises. eh wait, what exactly is a promise? owell.

today's tuesday, at least 2 times a week? i really want to see this.

digressing, the plan to crash innova JC has been cancelled i think. and to think i was really looking forward to it. owell, there goes skipping school tml. well at least mr. thiang's nostrils wld be something to think abt, and look, and laugh. and no, we're not being mean, cos we do actually listen to his class. but at the same time, admire the circular nostrils he has while practising functions.

went j8 yet again with adeline. talked about some really interesting people at school, and back at phs. shiang yng is really an object of wonder. no further abt that. saw clarissa and made an embarassing deduction that her brother was her boyfriend. well, it was fun though.

may be heading to town tml, but its not a confirmed outing. melissa chan has been complaining about her lack of clothes and has been constantly planning trips to town. well dear mel, you have 2 more weeks.

seriously, i hear words like honey, sweets, darling etc from my MI friends much more. i don't know maybe its me.

owell. life goes on. and maybe as you say, let nature take its course. if you and i are thinking the same thing.

today's entry's really long. i shld stop here. byebyebye.

' i'm torn between this life i need and where i stand

2006-01-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

quick entry. i don't like my HG, i much prefer my OG. haha. anw went to j8 with mel meis reg wanting and darren today. had lots of fun. haha.

get well soon eh?

and the release of results, as so i heard, is on the 10th of feb. i repeat, 10th of feb. NOT 15th of feb. i shld really jump, seriously. i'm just getting ready to jump.

i'm going to play my ass off the next one month. i mean it.

sigh why?

owell. i better go now. ciao people!

2006-01-15T22:10:00.000-08:00

we'll just wait and see, i guess eh? maybe its good we kinda talked things out. time will show. and how it ends up, well we'll...... see.

anyway on the lighter side. my mood's up. definitely. haha. thanks to my many great friends, namely phyllis and my MI darlings, mel, meisy, reg and minny. and of course, yeah its over. if you know what i mean. i hate monthly visits. who does? (X

2 times a week? haha i wanna see how we keep that up. heh.

and my dear best friend, leonard, why on earth will i be mad at ya? (: i'm not. seriously. yeah.

today we headed to marina square again. weekly study group. but me and sining went to suntec for a stroll and met mel chan working at gelare. too bad no free ice-cream. haha i'll kiss her if it was possible. so much for all the kisses from her, i was very WILLing to get his number for her.

life's a wonder sometimes. world's coming to an end? i hope not. there're so many lives we have yet to save. today's fellowship really woke us up i guess. another wake up reminder that we ain't here to play. i love my yf, seriously. it's home.

ok i off. ciao!

2006-01-14T20:55:00.000-08:00

i find this all this oh so familiar. i'm laughing at my own stupidity, and shaking my head at all the disappointments i'm facing, yet again. life seems to be playing with me. same scenario, same feeling, same tears.

i feel like the ultimate fool, a prize idiot. or maybe, its not only just me. this time i'm baring it all out and seeing it through. i won't want to end up like the last time, cos the last time ruined me. and i'm not breaking down the myself i have rebuilt again.

i, or shall i say we, will talk through it slowly, cos i just need to know. that's all.

2006-01-13T22:39:00.000-08:00

my mood's so terrible one could laugh. i'm serious. frustration seem to be taking the lead, and all i want to do is let everything out.. bummer.

give me one reason, just one. yet there's something holding me back, maybe its this ironic thing called hope. but wdv. i shld wait for this monthly visit to end, and clear my mind.

marche-ed today with mel meisy reg and min. had an helluva time choosing mosreals. (man, i forgot its spelling) it was really fun. (:

seriously, i've no idea why i'm thinking so much about this. i'm drained. hah. i hate moodswings. really. i'm dying here.

here i am, once again.

and you don't have a clue. really. you don't even have one. that's why i know something's on.

tml im meeting phyllis and kok wey. and i'm finally redoing my ic. praise the Lord! i seem to be meeting everyone these days. oh wait, heh not everyone.

i'm shaking my head. at disappointment. and mild disbelieve that i'm thinking this way. hah i could just laugh at myself.

tell me its not true, but i think my sentiments are right.

2006-01-12T22:26:00.000-08:00

trusting seemed to be easy then, or so i thought, but maybe it ain't as simple as many think. that once was enough to lose what was once trust, to build it back up would take a thousand times longer then the time it took to tear it down. the traces of unbelieve can still be spotted, though barely visible, but is definitely still there.

this word trust has place itself in 2 different aspects of my life. 2 different scenarios. 2 different persons. both started off the same way, the lost of trust, then came the resentment, then blah blah blah. maybe its time i put a stop to one of them. maybe 14-15 years of friendship would make it much easier, but on the other hand, it might just work against me. the 2nd one, well let me put it this way, i don't want to happen again. it'll kill me. i'm sure. i've cried out enough tears.

and my mood's terrible today. i'm moody, tired and bloody. i'm feeling downright miserable for absolutely no reason and i can't cry cos my damn eyes can't seem to produce a millidrop of water. i'm blinking every 5s but too no avail. and to top it all up, the suspicion clouding inside seem to increase in density as time passes. i need a ray of sunlight for heaven's sake.

my eyelids are becoming heavy. and if your wondering why my entry today's like this, get a clue. nowadays, you can't say much directly, you got to cover. you'll never know who'll put a knife through your back.

now i'm really tired. and to tell you the truth. i'm really sad. and i know why. owell. maybe it's all the blood that's turning me off. hah. i know, that's sick. well, i'm not in the mood to bother now.

hopefully my next entry would be full of hope, sunshine and sweets. till then. ciao people.

2006-01-10T14:51:00.000-08:00

i changed my blogskin, cos i'm worried some people may find my previous blogskin too pornographic. hah what a joke. and maybe what i blog these days shld be more explicit.

sunday i went out with my darlings debs, qianyi, jac, sharyn and sining. talked abt lots of stuff, esp abt ppl in our church. owell. what a downer. so good thing i have my active group and my best friends. (X

yeah and ytd, i went out with my MI friends. :D they're all darlings. i can't believe i love them all this much. ((: can't wait to go to MI tml though. not to the school, but to my sweets. sze ming, meisy, mel and the rest. haha.

me meisy and melissa after elizabethtown. (: haha yayy. and meet OG8!

YAY OG 8!

i miss mel juz phy they all. (X boo. supposed to go out with phy today. but owellllll.

k i gtg now haha. byebye.

2006-01-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

ok forget abt the bad thing tt happened ytd. haha. look forward then. yeah.

today we had maths, chinese and econs lecture. i definitely want to do econs if i get into a jc after the collection of out results. which i heard, is pushed up two weeks! oman. >< hopefully i can get into the same jc as adeline! i like gg to school with her :D

anw, chinese was BORING. and it lasted for 2 hrs. ahh no wonder my chi's is terrible. AUNTY KIMMY!!!!!!! ok then had 1 hr of maths. functions. its basically a maths lah. haha luckily i did learn half of a maths. so i made it through lecture. then had 1 hr lunch break. XD yeahh. ok then had 2 hrs of econs lah. but seriously, our econs teacher was slow. haha. and we were let off. at 1245pm! ((((:

ok haven't touched the other 2 major subs yet. haha and gp and pw. LOL. can't wait. my foot. haha. boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. your off till sunday. owellllllllllllllllllllll. hahahha ok night ppl.

i miss crystal!!!!!!

byebyebye.

2006-01-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

back from day 3 of the orientation. but honestly, even though it was a blast compared to the first two days, i'm just too lazy to blog abt it. screamed my head off during the cheers and stuff. and my OGL looked at me and kinda said, "your loud eh? eh shout louder then that GIRL from OG 9 leh." haha i think the whole world knows which GIRL. i wish someone would shuff something down her throat, rip out her voicebox and snip off her damn tongue. bitch. :D

and our OG's evaluation of the camp? on the surface, we said it was good. honestly though, we were saying they should get me and meisy into the council. HEH. ok we're too zi da. owell. heh. but please, who's idea of the game WILD WILD WET means transporting water from one bucket to another? HUH?

owell less talk on that. went to my grandma's house. and yah. it happened again. i kinda had it. cos no one makes me cry. besides myself, my parents and yah, someone. that's it. i had it already.

tml there's mass lectures. wonder what subs we're having tml. hopefully i wont sleep through the lectures. i really need to study. i'm not listening to ANYTHING THAT PERSON SAYS. i motivate myself to study. no one else. don't effing force me to tell you my plans for the future. i know what i'm doing and you don't have to wry. yes i want advice, but not you interoggating me, asking me what i want in the future. i take advice, not tell-offs. don't count on me ever replying you again. and if i make it big one day, its no thanks to you.

ok my parents are home for the sec 1 orientation talk. i gtg. byebye.

2006-01-04T16:36:00.000-08:00

ok i'm back home. already. surprisingly too. eh its 3:37pm. on a school day. wow.

actually i came home cos i'm tired. and i'm not willing to wait for bus 13 again. haa. sorrrrry ><>

owell. (X haha the orientation's crap. seriously. k let's check out the schedule eh.

TUESDAY 3/01/06 - DAY 1
0730-0830: find our OGs and sit arnd and SLACK

0830-0930: plan OUR OWN ice-breakers. zi wo jie shao.

0930-1015: mass games. ask cherlyn and the rest. DUMB

1015-1130: subject combi talk

1130-1200: english dance

1200-1300: break (lunch)

1300-1400: SLACK

1410: go home

WEDNESDAY 4/01/06 - DAY 2

0730-0740: assembly

0740-0755: talk by weird turban teacher. i think his the OM

0755-0845: SLACK

0845-0945: scavanger hunt

0945-1115: disciplinary talk and emegency evacuation talk. ok who listens? time to catch some winks.

1115-1200: break (lunch)

1200-1330: mass dance

1330-1400: SLACK

1410: go home.

yay i'm so looking forward to tomorrow. oh wait. is there spongebob tml on tv? ok i'm ponning. i'm just going back for lessons. hahaha. so sian lah. in that sense.

owelllllllllllllllll. blog ltr. then.

2006-01-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

ok i have exactly 4 mins to add an entry today. boo cos my parents are moody today. HEH esp my mum? LOL. owell.

okay went to MI today. haha it turn out ok lah. better than i expected anw. met a really pretty girl called szw ming. haha then we kinda buddied? she reminds me of someone though. haha and then there was huili, christine and jane. haha k we became one grp cos we were kinda sitting tgt? haha yeahh. and adeline was in another OG. owell. haha and saw linda sherlyn audrey tammy willtan chichao and bucksen(?) hahahaha. don't really know them though. haha except linda. and oh yah fang yi!

heh i'm taking LIT lah. like shit. i'm so going to die. i love the sub. but how am i going to cope when i've not touched the sub for 2 years? heh. haha. and today was interesting. somehow. people really react funnily. heh.

ok i gtg. times up! bye ppl.

2006-01-02T00:15:00.000-08:00

heya im back. and i'm not in the mood to sms or blog these days.

haha but summary for the past few days:

saturday:
went out for lunch with my grandpapa and grandmama at bukit there. haha the food was good. then i rushed to town and i was 2 hrs late! ok then kok and gary were complaining like 2 sissies! haha. then we went to the arcade and played. ahh lost them in the first rnd. nvm. and we watched wallace and gromit. and me and kok totally regretted can. so ex can for one and a half hr movie. heh. and in the theatre me and kok were complaining the whole way lah. but gary was satisfied though. haa. after the movie we played at the arcade again, and i won the 2 gays. HAH. ((:

and i have to go. my mama is complaining too. ahhh. the horror.

2005-12-30T11:39:00.000-08:00

(: have a sunny yellow banana day

ok ytd was fun! (X went out with phyllis, gary, hoiki and kevin [(:] yes. that means i went out with 2 couples. dian den pao! owell. haha cos we were going for a concert. and the concert was totally.... astonding? haha can't find the right word. but they were really good.

ok got my $150 from school and rounded to town. haha i was with gary and phyllis then. wah then we were all on a budget (X we gossiped at ljs abt the other couple. haha LOL. ok it was hilarious. walked to taka then ate at macs. and i ruined gary life there. not gg to say how. haha. then we headed to cine and went to sembawang. oman that guy's really cute. ahhaa (X ok nvmm.

then gary and phyllis HAD to suggest WALKING TO RAFFLES. i was like.. huh? but obliged lah. haha and guess what. nature sided me and it rained as we reached ps. haha then took a train from there. met tee and hoiki! haaha went to e macs there AGAIN. i ate ice-cream. :D

after the concert we headed to marina sq for dinner. and i ruined gary's life the second time. haha. YAY! then we headed home arnd 9? haha. can't find my card reader still. i wanna upload the pics! k yah.

and my sister's friend kuanyee is so cute. (X

ok and im staying at home today. cos i'm going out with gary and kok on sat. oman. wallace and gromit leh? haha maybe tee and hoiki coming. but i dont know. heh. YAY.

ok i wanna go now. byebyebye!

2005-12-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

eh did i mention anything abt gameboys in my previous entries? cos i just can't seem to spot them. but i'll mention them now. haha ><>

anw today's another of those days. i didn't go out cos i feel bad gg out. and i wanna spend my time with my grandma. haha seriously. their old already. and i'll be really sad when they go so i wanna spend more time with them. going to my other grandma's house real soon. i'm xiao xun(?) haha wdv.

ok but im going out tml. and friday. and saturday. (X yay. and SUNDAY THERE'S CHURCH. hahahaha. so happy! i can see my youth darlings again. and deb's done up the edenyouths blog. (: we so rock. http://edenyouths.blogspot.com (:

kk i wanna go now. i miss my best friends! (X nothing from them today leh. boo. they pang seh-ed me. haha owell. kk byebyebye

2005-12-27T12:45:00.000-08:00

As little children
we would dream of christmas morn
and all our gifts and toys
we knew we'll find

But we never realised
a baby born one blessed night
gave us the greatest gift
of our life

We are the reason that he gave his life
we are the reason Jesus suffered and died
to a world that was lost
he gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live

As the years went by
we learnt more of our gifts
and giving of ourselves
and what that means

On a dark and cloudy day
a man hung dying in the rain
because of love
because of love
because of love

We are the reason he gave his life
we are the reason Jesus suffered and died
to a world that was lost
he gave all he could give
to show to us the reason to live
to live
to live

everytime i see the cross
i'm reminded that he gave his life
for you and me

We are the reason that he gave his life
we are the reason why our Lord suffered and died
to a world that was lost
he gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live

We are the reason
but he is the reason we live

Thank you my Jesus
we thank you Lord, my Jesus
we thank you for dying for our sins
we thank you my Jesus
thank you thank you
your worthy to be praised
your worthy to be praised
gorify glorify your name

2005-12-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

i'm home and im TIRED. (X i so love my church people so much. ahhaa. ytd was so much fun!

k point form again;

1. mel and jy came for the performance. found out my chi much better then them (X but i'm happy they came! haha.

2. headed to church for sleepover. went to the nearby 7-11. and there was this group of tikopeh there. ><>

3. then we played twister! and the boys were hilarious. can't find my card reader at the moment or i'll upload the pics. haha.

4. played and played. then me, shuen, deb, qianyi, emeline, sining, leonard and siyang gossip in our room. and once again, siyang's a big entertainer. and guys have so much more inside info then we know. (X

5. and deb got really high. haha n we kept saying she was getting horny. but of course she wasn't. she just knows alot. (: haha but she was getting excited. haha (X ok lahhhh.

6. i totally love them
deb
shuen
qianyi
jackie
sining
emeline
leonard
siyang
timothy
angie

7. ok i'm really tired. hahah. byebye and HAPPY BOXING DAY. (:

2005-12-24T09:37:00.000-08:00

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE! yayyyyyyy! oh yah, did i mention how much i love christmas? (X

ok anw, i'm here to blog becos obviously i aint going to have any time to blog later in the day. haha ltr i'm going shopping than we're heading straight to my uncle's house for christmas feast/celebration. so yay. (:

and i'm really looking forward to tml. cos it's christmas. ahhaa (X yay last performance and than our sleepover! (: haha. yay i'm so loving year 2005 christmas. but that means school's opening soon. somehow i wish i was still in secondary school. owell. JC life may be as good. hopefully. heh.

i still have alot to do, come to think abt it. haha but ain't going to think abt them until after christmas. and im supposed to organise the narnia trip. ;) ok i'll think abt it ltr. hopefully we'll have 20 over ppl going this time. haha.

i'm really in the mood to blog today. its a wonder. X)

lol been to some people's friendster account. and its hilarious. all the acts and stuff. but aint gonna elaborate. yeah. childish ideals. i wonder when they'll ever get over them. haha.

and i thought just came to me. its kinda sad when you aint spending christmas with your loved one eh? haha but its ok. i know. (:

haha i so love my life. ain't you won't know why. cos the feeling only comes from the inside.

heh maybe i should go write another song now. or maybe. a book? haha.

ok i wanna watch the telly. byebyebye.

2005-12-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

ok my bro got posted to phs. how fun can that be? heh. it's going to be so weird. but i've graduated, so OWELL.

TML'S CHRISTMAS EVE. (: my family's really into christmas. the english style. all our uncles aunt cousins will be gathered at one of our houses and we'll have turkey, stew, ham, singing, presents.. well you get the picture. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. (X this year the family celebration's on christmas eve. =D

and im going last min christmas shopping tml. ><>< haha ok nvmm.

christmas's our last performance! (X hahah im going to miss all the rehearsal's and stuff. aww. but we'll be having our sleepover after that.

sheesh and the newton life church youths want to invite us for a bbq tml. haha. well i think deb's going. she's the DA CHIO BU. along with qianyi, emily, emeline and angie. (X we have many pretty girls eh. haha.

ok i wanna go now. byebyebye.

2005-12-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

(: eh today turned out totally different from what i expected.

anw, kinda lazy to type everything out in sentences. so point form it is:

1. went out today, someone was late lah. (: nvm its ok. had fun. =D

2. and im really lazy i'll continue tml.

3. oh shit. tml. im panicking now.

byebye.

2005-12-20T18:49:00.000-08:00

anadee wanted me to do this quiz. and i'll be nice. (:

here goes.

1. post 5 weird or random stuff bout yourself.
2. at the end of the post, list 5 ppl you want to do this quiz.
3. tag on their blog to let them know and ask them to read ur blog for the rules.

5 things abt me.
1. i hate monkeys.
2. i'm facinated by ice-cream and adore them as much.
3. i believe staying at home makes you sick.
4. i want to be wendy in peter pan.
5. for some reason, i'm known to kok and yiyang as CC. not representing carynchang, but as clumsy caryn. haha.

5 ppl who's going to do this quiz
1. melissa
2. justina
3. kokwey
4. yiyang
5. deborah

yay. im done. ah this quiz took me half an hour. ><>

2005-12-18T23:39:00.000-08:00

this is going to be a quick entry. hahaha. today i mostly fooled arnd with my youth people. heh then someone went msia to play golf. haha how interesting.

anw, im gg to e zoo on tues with leonard siyang they all. maybe i shld stay at hme tml and be guai. i dont wanna miss the zoo trip. haha i miss my best friends eh? leonard siyang fantai and SINING. =D yay! but the rest not gg like tt. boooooooooooo. owell. haha. i'm hoping emeline's going too. hehh. so sian.

ok i gtg. blog tml? hopefully. haha.

2005-12-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

tell me was that obvious or obvious? like a pig could have figured that out. funny how God plans each and every step of our way. but at the same time, i thought he gave us the freedom of choice? so that means he planned us to make mistakes? note. ask mu shi or someone.

today's buffet was terrible. everything looked soggy and they provided syrup drinks. again. how budget can they get lah. and then it poured. really hard.

haha. but ex-co meeting was fun. ok we side-tracked. alot. from nominees to kayaking. then from orientation to abt sparks flying arnd in the youth. haha. heard that the 25th might be cancelled lah. oman cos one person commented abt it. please i don't think the boys are that horny or sick to do anything to the girls at night. and we won't even be sleeping lah. we're going to play TWISTER can. like hello?

anw. kong's totally cute. when he's not like in love with the pretty blonde. love as in i-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you love. like its not even moral to like something not of your own species.and im NOT being racist here. image if he didn't die. like the blondie would have to spend the rest of her life unmarried, cos a huge black chimpanzee would literally bite of the head of any man who dares come 5meters in diameter near her.

and my sister told me that in the real version of kong. kong's a pervert. LIKE EWW. and again, refer to deb's blog to infer abt kong's erm... physical appearance. hehh.

and here are twenty people i really want to meet now
20. hoiki
19. wanyee
18. gary
17. emeline
16. qianyi
15. jackie
14. deb
13. edward
12. siyang
11. leonard
10. sining
09. joey
08. teehao
07. crystal
06. ryuta
05. melissa
04. justina
03. phyllis
02. orlando bloom
01. ah-hem =)

haha ahhhhhhhhhhh im broke. so i cant really go out lah. ><>
okok byebye.

2005-12-16T21:32:00.000-08:00

this morning i was in a positively foul mood. i didn't manage to catch half a wink at all last night and i was really touchy.

haha but today went great lahhhh. haha but im too lazy to go into details. maybe tml or something. and some people are really lame. like why do i even bother talking to them eh? hahah.

ok byebyebye.

oh yah im in MI (bartley) arts stream for first 3 months. im definitely ponning. big time.

2005-12-16T06:20:00.000-08:00

guess what. this is the 3rd time i changed the entry. ah forget it.

2005-12-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

EH EH EH EH EH EH EH GUESS WHAT?! I RECEIVED GOOD PROGRESS AWARD LAH! =) LIKE AFTER 5-6 YEARS? =DDDDDDD

ok lah that just prove how bad i did for mid years. but i cut my L1R5 by 15points. hahaha so maybe its good enough for the government. ok hopefully my o level results would be the same. >< ok in my dreams lah. i think i did badly for my O's. omannnnnnn.

and i have these terrifying nightmares that i flunk my o's lah. okay not flunk. but my results were ranging from like 18 to 25 points lah. i swear i was crying haha. and one morning i woke up to something interesting, but i ain't going into details. haha.

LOL tml's KONG. (: yay! i think we're going to be so noisy lah. BUT LIKE DEBORAH DITCH ME. i'm heartbroken ): so there's only like 14 ppl watching. poor attendence. boo. owell. OK LIKE Y SO SAD LAH TML. nvm owelllllll.

and we had dance prac today at church. angie's dad fetched us home. in a lorry! haha so fun lah. =D but the sight of geylang in the night. heh its erm.. interesting. ok not going into details abt that either. but for the record, don't loiter there at night alone.

ok i better go or my bro's gg to complain im hogging the comp again. ok byebyebyebye.

2005-12-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

ok someone define the word; GROUNDED. cos to me being grounded means going out with my mum TOWNING and spend over $600 in an afternoon on bras, panties, watches, board games, chocolates and book vouchers. seriously, and besides the book vouchers, the rest are for us. and then stuffing ourselves with food worth up to $50 dollars in a night and spending another $30 on christmas cards. EH BEING GROUNDED ROCKS. =D

okay DEB'S back. ytd. someone's also back today. erm. haha.

tonight there's prac for me angie and sining. yeahh and friday there's our group appointment with kong which we are all desperately looking-forward to. and LOL, hahaha. nthh.

and my mood's abit tippy today. not going into details.

k i'll blog ltr or something. byebye. haha

2005-12-12T23:54:00.000-08:00

I DID IT AGAIN. =D i like this layout. haha ok i'm definitely too free these days. ok maybe today only. and today was fun! got a surprise visit from mel juz and anor. but i feel kinda bad, my room was in a terrible mess. i swear it looked like a tornado hit it, twice. then i managed to get out of the hse, thanks to them. hahah. went to amk cause mel wanted to do some gawking. it was terribly hot so me and juz went to mos and grabbed a sit which was situated such a way that ajisen was CLEARLY in view. then we talked and talked then i headed to my grandma's hse. jeez my hp vibrated again. like im too lazy to read it, i'm becoming a sms freak again. i send out over a hundred msgs a day for the pass 2 weeks =D. no wonder i have to top up my card weekly. owell, too bad, i WAS a busy women. today i only msg-ed 50 times! what an achievement. tml im gg to stay at hme the whole day, i think. haha well that was what i thought this morning anw. ok its 12:01am. and that damn jap guy finally came to his senses. and guess what, my sentiments were right. HAH. another achievement. and ed's definitely lovesick. and leonard's back. DEB'S BACK TML. and the sleepover's on the 25th. CHRISTMAS. like so weird. but i can't change it, i think the zhang zhi men already approved to the 25th. like we won't be tired enough after the performance. oh yah who wants to come on the 22nd? i'm singing solo, in CHINESE. i swear this year's the only year im singing solo chinese cos i don't want to do another chinese solo again. yeah. it'll be interesting. i bet my legs would shake like they did on the 4th. and it wasn't part of the dance. ah i'm super terrified now. cos its in chinese! and prac's on wed night. omann. i rather take o levels all over again. been wondering how to contact crystal and there seem to be no way. can't get through aunty kimmy either. owell. ryuta's going to be sad can. "REGRET LIKE FUCK LA" that's his reply. k you get the idea. and yeah don't say i said this either. or he'll be after me with a chopper. and my phone's in a terrible condition. sigh how heart-breaking, its only 4 months old. regrets. ah i'm just rambling nothings aren't i? i think i slept too much last night, cos i feel so enegectic. maybe i should just get work from one of my relatives or something. but they're boring jobs. and ppl, you may be interested in this. you know there's this HA HA CRAB thing at j8. guess what, the boss is my aunt. heh. yeah. how fun.

kk i better go. i'm gg nuts. haha.

2005-12-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

two words to describe my day: GROUNDED and CONSTIPATION. =D yay i'm lovin' it already. how fabulous eh?

sharyn's gone for band and i'm stuck at home with my mum and bro. that's exciting. =D ok maybe i deserve to be grounded. haha been out 7 days a week for 2 weeks and i've somehow managed to spend $150 within that 14 days. maybe i'll do up the x'mas cards ltr. haha and plan the sleepover at church for the youth.

ahhaa something happened ytd. WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

mental block. can't think of much to write. the youth's date with king kong's this friday. 3 hr show! deb's going to return from NCO camp tml. ytd was boring, seriously. ed's becoming lovesick or something im sure. leonard's off to msia today and back tonight. next full prac's on the 18th and the 2nd performance's on the 22nd instead of the 24th. dang i think we're all dead. =D but no matter. hahaha. and posting results are out on the 16th. so wish not to go. but im not sure either. my bro's posting results are out soon. so is emeline's n level results.

and i still want lunch with mel and juz. (:

haha okkkkk byebyebyebye.

2005-12-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

after watching pride and prejudice, i'm so embarassed by singapore english, or should i say, singlish? hahaha. but maybe that what makes us unique. ok i don't want to touch too much on that topic. and those who wants to see remarkable english written by a singapore teenager, i strongly recommend you to take a look at deborah's blog. click here.
you'll be astonished, i'm sure. =D and impressed.

went job hunting today with emily and sining. TIRING. nothing could tire anyone more. and its much harder for us, cos we're a lil late.

i'm still thinking. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. owell i dont feel like blogging anymore. >< byebyebye

2005-12-08T23:17:00.000-08:00

(= couldn't help myself. haha. but i think i kinda screwed up the layout? LOL hahah. kk byebye.

2005-12-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 1550hrs AT PLAZA SINGAPURA

ME
SHARYN
DEB
QIANYI
EMILY
EMELINE
EMELINE'S FRIEND ><
JINCI
JINLI
SINING
SIWEI
LINDIS
LEONARD
SIYANG
EDWARD
KEVYN

YAY-NESS. but so weird the guys are watching too?????? haha but nvm with them there's always FUN. ok i need to go now. =DDDDDD

byebye. and i'm still thinking. i think.

2005-12-06T23:12:00.000-08:00

heya. i'm blogging again =)

i think i know what's my ans already. yeahh.

ok came back from chalet. HAHA like so dumb lah. k bottomline, it was dumb. =D heh like played cards and i think i lost everything this time. k it was fun! but like not many girls go leh. and deborah was there too! in the end we left tgt. same sentiments our mums. but aww.. its perfectly fine lah haha.

anw, talked to sh and zh. maybe i shld go for the council camp. don't know leh. lazy. last 2 years i had more camps then i needed or wanted. still rmb tt fateful week, ran between 2 camps lah str 7 days. and heard they still want us to go back and plan for sec 1 orientation lah. like i don't know whether i want anymore. haha. see how. and leadership camp? no way not planning for tt either, and im not joining the alumni either. yeah. damn sian le. starting off was fun, then after a year or so, gets sian. unless its with kok tee they all. =D

yeahh tired i wanna slp. my grammer's terrible. gotta see the results on the 16th. tt'll cfm my cambo trip. HEH.

byebyebye

2005-12-03T19:30:00.000-08:00

i'm just back from EOY play prac. actually its not EOY, we have our first performance tml. bottomline, its gg to be a major disaster. crossing my fingers. like i'm not even sure of my solo. HAH it's sure gg to be a laugh, but we have to go through it.

got a surprising sms just now. k wdv, i know it doesn't mean anything. the situation is familiar though. not tt i went through it, this scenario was told to me by a friend. but hell with it.

on the brighter side. haha many youth group outings are coming up. king kong, pride and prejudice and maybe narnia and most likely a zoo outing? guys suggestion, nth to do with me. haha. and of course all the many rehearsals and performances coming up, we'll be seeing each other ALOT. tt'll be fun. can't stand it, we're all acting like kids. GROW UP =DDDDDDDDDDDD.

ytd watch neon flux with leonard they all. DUMB SHOW. heh i wld have rather watched emily rose again and scare the wits outta me. tt's be much more fun. k then we walked arnd ps and met ppl like denise (sec2) and weizhe.

heh and oh yah. YAY-NESS. 4 humility's chalet coming up and im gg. =D ok this is funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

k i wanna go watch tv now. ciao.

2005-12-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

there's something wrng with blogger, its 9:23pm now. hahaha.

I'M BACKKKKKKKK! (((((((((((((((((((:

STEAM ROOM-ING, CAPTAIN BALL-ING, SWIMMING, EOY PLAY PRACTISING, EATING, SLEEPING, GOSSIPING, WATCHING THE BOYS PLAY SOCCER, CHEERING, TAI DI, 21, MOVIE MARATHONS, STUFFING OUR FACES WITH TIBITS, LISTENING TO THE SERMONS and the many many other things we managed to do with that 4 uberly short days were fun! actually doing anything with my youth babies are fun.

but i know melissa and justina miss me (X so i came back. hahaha.

tml gg out with sining leonard they all. haha movie-ing i guess. YAY i'll be seeing them everyday this week. haha.

deb cut her hair and now she's my boyfriend? but she kinda left me for jackie then dumped her then came back to me? anw, she's so freaking shuai now. i've fallen head over heels k. =D

YAY we won the captain ball tnm and we got chocs! ((: and the guys were great. even though they were kinda dwn lah.

haha i was thinking, even though i was shocked for the first few hrs doesn't mean something like tt shld affect any friendship. and what's more, we gotta help each other, cos we're literally life-long friends. (: yeahh LOVE.

kk i gtg now. byebye.

2005-11-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

haha im now highly suspicious giggolo likes his other mistress. not me. OK don't say i said this. which is rather sweet lah, except for the fact tt she likes someone else. (= haha owell poor thing. yay i love this reality teenage drama i'm watching lah.

dumb neighbour called me 1 plus this morning. got so irritated lah. like i was sleeping can. what an asshole.

kk i'm leaving tml! lalalalalala. i'm gg friendster when i'm back. (: haven't gone friendster for abt 5 days le. i finally log on to msn ytd. heh. yeahhhh. tml!

heh i hate tt uncle.

ok i better go. i haven't started packing yet. haha e only one who has started is my sis. the rest of us are just sitting arnd.

byebye

avril-
' no place to go
no place to go
to dry her eyes
broken inside '

2005-11-26T19:04:00.000-08:00

i'm like addicted to blogging please. (X HEHH.

kk i changed my blogskin. not because i didn't like the previous one. cos i got fedup with the small limited space area. okay like today was not really good. >< boo so down. owell. look on the bright side.

and the tv died lah. bummer.

k ytd's chalet was fun. =D it was so unorganised it was hilarous lah. reached there look like some secret society area or something. everyone was either playing majong or cards. HAH i won 25cents k. (: heh and the bbq was fun can. all the food was ready and when we were abt to cook, guess what? no starter no charcoal. LOL

then we started poking the saugages. talked to larry abt eating 2 and more sausages compared to e previous chalet. ok lame. haha. then crystal did some really sick stuff with the sotong balls and sausages. she was really high lah. ltr she told me why. >< poor girl. haha nvm lah both of us are the same. one-sided feelings. i understand. (= and after tt she got a lil drunk. so i shared her drink with her, after awhile she got better.

there was a lack of everything so we literally shared everything. haha but it funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. (= yeah jiawei is a lousy cook lahh. wanted to go see the bapoks with them at changi village but i not enough time i couldn't. boooooooooo.

heh too lazy to type the rest of the chalet. yeah gg crystal's place tml cos i'm leaving on mon and tml's the last day i'll see her until feb lah. gg to miss herrrrrrrrrrr. owell hahaha. damn ryuta. (:

kk i wanna go now.

' thanks for leaving me hearbroken
thanks for taking my soul away
thanks closing yourself to me
thanks for keeping yourself at bay '

2005-11-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

haha i love i love i love today. i love towning with phyllis and i love chalet-ing with 2 faithians'03! and i love sticking satay sticks into hotdogs and i love having no charcoal! i love catching up with old friends and i love winning 25cents! i love green tea mixed with tiger beer and i love burnt sotong balls!

ok bottomline, today rocked (:

haha can't wait for 4humility's chalet toooooooooooooo. (: kk my days are definitely brighter.

heh but never as bright as then. boooooo. owellllll.

(= kk. talk more tml. hahhhh.

2005-11-25T09:44:00.000-08:00

ok i uploaded my pics! i know ppl use photo bucket and stuff. but i rather just choose some nice ones (:

me crystal and aunty kimmy. gosh i still think taking pictures like this is so childish. haha (X but there was no one else in the hse. so owell. make do.

me, our giggolo and crystal. my mugging and shopping buddies. i'm gg to miss crystal when she heads back to hongkong.

((((: tee hao and me.

my katib tuition buddies. (=

haha my god-bro.

kk upload ltr. need to eat breakfast then maybe head to the chalet.

2005-11-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

ok its 12.05 25th nov, but take it as it is still 24th lah

maybe i shld talk too much today. haha but grad night was FUN. so happy can. took 80 over pics and now there are still stars dancing in my eyes! (: so so so so so fun can. i'll miss everyone bunches. haha. esp my band and council groupies. gosh i miss my sec 2 sec 3 days sia. and i love my crystal and my half giggolo. they make me laugh when im sad and comfort me when im down. i adore aunty kimmy too. (= i won't be able to pass this almost a month w/o them. heh i'm just push the hurt aside everytime i feel it arising. cos it ain't fair that i spoil their moods. yeah but i'm doing ok so far. (:

ok ): down side of today. don't wanna say. sighhhh more like disappointed. but now i think my mum shldn't brood over it. rather, think of ways to help and ensure things wld be fine in the future.

even though it stills hurts, but now at least i'm coping. haha maybe its something to be proud of. (= i won't let it affect anyone else's mood. yeahh but i won't change how i feel. i dont want to. yeahhhhhhh. nowadays, i just do my best to push the hurt and pain aside as much as possible.

(= so proud of myself. i haven't gone on msn for arnd a week. yeah maybe i shld keep this up for another week. yeahh.

you started it
you ended it
and i just stood there
as you walked away

tattered on the inside
seemingly whole on the outside
i turn as you walk my way
hoping not to give my tears away

i'm smile at the falling rain
and indulge in the pain
yet i don't want to leave this feeling
even though i know you turn away

maybe i have accepted
but maybe i have rejected
this state of reality i'm avoiding
i'm just so caught in the middle

and you won't know....
and you won't know....

2005-11-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

ok i'll summarise today. too lazy.

- went to school i'm eligible for C.I
-but i wanna work too bad my mum thinks otherwise
-when for hair appointment had more than a haircut
-my ass still hurts from it
-jap guy twist permed his hair
-damn cool crystal and me effing proud of him
-crystal dyed her hair
-don't wanna say what i did to mine
-bottomline, all major makeovers for our hairs
-went to orchard taka
-yeah spend 70bucks
-thank God i still have leftover
-crystal almost suffered a nervous breakdown
-3 of us totally forgot abt lunch
-but we had to rush had no choice
-arnd 6 rushed to church for prac
-was so tired i became stiff during dance prac
-but everyone was so nice
-even when i broke the champaign glass and bled all over the place
-my hands still hurts
-major ouch
-then the prac ended cos of me
-sorry )=
-now i'm home and i'm still darn tired
-tml's going to be fun i'm sure
-i'm going for the chalet on friday
-but i'm not staying over
-sat there's prac the whole day
-and sunday yay FULL DRESS. so exciting
-monday i'm off
-overall, still thinking. used to it i guess
-nah i'm an idiot
-but yeah i guess, more love to go arnd
-darn i'm fedup with my links part
-can't see the names properly. grr..
-ohyah i'm solo in the play is abt bgr
-yeah great but im not complaining
-one sentence in the song "mei you she me bi ta gen zhong yao"
-yah right that's what i heard
-and the word "forever"
-yeah more like.... wdv can't think of a word
-ahh wdv i'm losing my mind
-too tired i guess

what a day. i'm pooped. k and i noticed i'm getting more vulgar. gotta change. don't wanna ruin my image. and tml's gg to be interesting. HEH.

gone.

2005-11-22T22:28:00.000-08:00

' can't deny it can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep insid
you won't get to see the tears i cried '

heh can't help it. that song keeps running through my head. owell.

i don't bother using msn now. yeah. im just coming online to blog. yeah.

today's hectic. tml will be too. )= so tired. fri's the chalet and i got prac. crystal's going to kill me if i'm going for the prac. >< caught in the middle.

so tired. it was so quiet throughout the ride in the car. maybe i'll try to persuade my mum to allow me to miss prac tml. i'm really rushing. gosh i feel like i'm back 2 years. when my timetable seem to be packed. events overlapping events. heh and to think i enjoyed the hectic schedule then.

gg sentosa with my youth darlings soon. yeah can't wait to get into trouble. =/ never have we not gotten into trouble after an outing. maybe we shld break something this time. HAH. and the camp's gg to be a BLAST. we'll scare ourselves to death like 10 year olds in one room and huddle like babies to sleep. i can't wait. maybe this time we shld talk abt emily rose. heh that'll be something.

i think i shld stay home more though. even if i don't really want to. kinda notice it's not right that i'm out almost the entire day. esp when my family is more of a stay home family rather than a stay out family. feel kinda bad lah.

have to report at school in the morning tml. then im gg to cut my hair. didn't manage to cut today >< yeah makeover. i guess. it'll do me some good. girl's shld cut their hair when they're sad.

heh. dumb neighbour keeps sms-ing me. it's been 15. how many more till he gets it? what a asshole.

really, i shld spend more time home. but i think i'll go crazy lah. my personality and character totally opposes my mum and sis. they're totally alike. even though they don't want to admit it.

ok i've decided to go for the chalet but not stay overnight. and i've decided not to go out after the prom. i guess. >< ah what's said is easier than done.

i'm off. what a long entry.

and ohyah. im FREE. o's officially over. im happy if you wanna know. smiley face (=

2005-11-21T22:41:00.000-08:00

" the promise you held once you now broke
and to say it doesn't hurt would be a lie
and even if i wished you were there
i know you wouldn't even care if i died"

robert pattinson
eyecandy. YES. heart throb. YES. faraway. DOUBLE YES.
deb, my pic cuter k.

sean biggerstaff
shuen jackie qy. feast your eyes on oliver woods. YES. girl-faint-causing-machine number 1.

daniel radcliffe
i still think his cute. more real then the 2 up there.

ok i know. this is crazy. but guys on the screen seem so much more trustworthy. at least they dont break your hearts.

heh tml's going to be a big day. HEH. don't wanna blog too much. i'll be very busy the next 2 days. yeah still thinking whether i shld stay overnight for the chalet. but i gotta pack. and i still got rehearsals.

ryuta's being nice. that's weird. crystal's sad. actually im sad for her too. owell don't wanna say anything abt that. k i gtg le. byebye.

2005-11-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

' thanks for the days you looked my way
thanks for the sweet words that made me faint
thanks for making all those promises you promised to keep
and thanks for breaking my heart all over again'

ok i feel like a prized idiot. and the only person i know's laughing is myself. unless all this was just a scam. well, that wld be worse if it were true.

oh yah i still keep all the emails. and all the sms-es that are the most hurting. yeah that's why im a fool eh.

yay haven't blogged for 3 days. =/ ok no big. anw i watched exorcism of emily rose and harry potter with crystal and ryuta. HEH. watched emily rose and got totally freaked out lah. then mel smsed me just abit after 3 and scared the hell outta me. and i cried while watching harry potter because its such a waste that a guy with such good looks cld be killed. the world's not a fair place.

gg to find a pride and prejudice partner. cos crystal wld be back at hk when the show's open. maybe i'll ask emily. not rose. or ah-hem. mel? or maybe deb. or shuen? anw. i may be working during the hols. gotta work out my schedule with the youth. with the play and stuff. seems that i'll be busier then i've expected. and anw, phy asked me and why not? not like i've anything else to do. i may even just reconsider gg MI. and there's 2 campuses. one at paya lebar and the other is at bartley. not like either is situated anywhere near me lah.

leonard returned from aussie today. said he bought me something but forgot to bring to church. i wonder what is it. hmm. the youth's getting noiser by the week. heh can't wait to get back to screaming at them. they're are gg to have a hell of a time during the camp. yah and the "vest" for the camp is utterly horribly fugly. ok lah but we're not supposed to comment. cos we're kids.

there'll be a PUA thingy on the 23rd lah. maybe i'll be out the whole night on the 22nd. and yeah 24th we'll be busy. 25-26 is the 2 faith chalet. something's on the 27th. and i'm off on the 28th. don't miss me guys. seems like im busy. can't wait for christmas though. im sure its gg to be a blast. oh yah tee hk phy and gary gg for the concert too. yay.

this entry is surprisingly long. heh yah and what the heck lah. wdv.

im really not sure whether i wanna go MI now. 3mths really is a good time to catch up with stuff. yeah. and i've got something i wanna do. but im not sure lah. oh f*** tt damn neighbour's sms came in. i better go lock the main door.

im off now.

2005-11-17T21:14:00.000-08:00

' i sleep at night with tears in my eyes
cos i wish you still cared
i sleep at night thinking about you
cos i wish you will still be there'

well my o's are unofficially over. i guess. but i'm not really happy that it's over. cos i've nothing to prevent me from thinking and thinking. now i have all the time to think and think.

)= what sad days.

tml i'm free. maybe gg out with crystal and jap guy? dunno leh. see how. i dont wanna be the extra lah >< i'm watching nc-16 shows everytime i go out with them.

and oh yah. who knows how to block ppl from calling or sms-ing you. i wanna block that sick neighbour of mine. i can't even find security at home like this. cos i've got no one else to turn to anymore.

ah this is killing me. =/

dont know what to blog anymore. creativity has been drained away from me. totally.

i'm off now.

2005-11-15T15:31:00.000-08:00

'behind, i quietly shed the tears
infront i put on a mask
cos i don't want to show you the pain
when i thought it would last'

this is so stupid lah. i'm letting my vulnerable side out too much. twice today in fact. yeah totally speechless abt that though. i dont wanna comment abt that too much.

HEHHHHHHHH. what a terrible day. i'm scared to come home can. ok lah not scared to be home. im scared of the journey home. )= like sms keep coming in and i just keep deleting them. hounded sia. just stay away please?

i can't believe im letting myself sink into it deeper. so pathetic.

ok i needa go out again.

2005-11-14T22:45:00.000-08:00

when i need you most, you decide to leave me alone''

yeah i have a freak for a neighbour. oh great. just what i need. and how in the world am i supposed to avoid him when he lives just 5 units away from me? yeah when i need someone to lean upon, guess what, i hit air.

ugh. thinking about those 2 guys urks me. like ugh. OMAN. dammit lah.

i feel so stalked. i need to tell someone what happened just now. cos i feel so disrespected lah. i mean WHY DO SUCH THINGS HAPPEN TO ME? at least now my mum knows. she can keep an eye. heh. to an extend. im gg to make her fetch me everyday cos i dont feel safe. i cant wait to get out of the hse lah. as far away as possible.

actually i really want to cry again. cos this feeling's killing me. really, THANK GOD for the exams. it doesn't make me brood too long. but the exams are coming to a close. ah sigh.

i'm really a good actress. eh anadee?

ah yeah i gotta "shut up" myself. thanks. i'm off.

oh yah today's the 14th. funny it still means something to me. but i've no idea lah. maybe its just one-sided. owell.

2005-11-13T23:42:00.000-08:00

like this is so dumb. maybe i shld say what's been gg on this days. not like i want them to happen lah. like WHY ARE THEY HAPPENING TO ME? actually they're good stuff, but i refuse to accept any other.

oman i feel like a dumb-ass lah. but of course. it'll be too laughable if what i think comes true. like. yeah so laughable. i've got no other words for it.

and the best thing is that, even though i know this kind of feeling's unavoidable, i WANT to feel this way. yeah like i know stupid. what i want may never be mine. yeah sound so cliche and childish. but i finally understand.

i can't believe things went off like this. LIKE HELLO. it was just a wedding lunch how did things become like that?????? not that its bad. just too fast. and i don't think i want this to happen. actually, i dont want ANYTHING to happen.

' seems just like yesterday,
you were a part of me.
i used to stand so tall,
i used to be so strong.

your arms around me tight,
everything felt so right.
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong.'

yeah great. everthing's just dandy.

yeah 7 years. no way. noooooooooo way.

oh yah tml's the 14th. but heck. it doesn't mean anything now eh. how i wish i could just not feel.

2005-11-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

my craving for blogging's back. heh.

gg out soon wanna do art at the meantime. HAH. my life's a joke. good thing there's the o's. or i'll be a piece of nothing rotting my time away using the com and watching tv. i'm even feeling lazy getting out of the hse lah.

i'm addicted to "behind these hazel eyes" and "yi lu xiang bei" for some reason. YOU should hear it. then you'll understand.

maybe i'll be addicted to "losing grip" AGAIN. i love these songs these days.

ytd was at the library with ryuta waiting for crystal. then joyce joined us. then ryuta almost said and i kicked his leg. then he ask whether he could be my giggolo. i hit him and refused to speak to him. what a money-minded idiot. but his funny. so owell. what a joker.

ugh. i feel much worse than before. this feeling is killing me. you happy nowadays? its like i'm totally out of your world. yeah like im off your slate.

oh yar. another song. crystal's intro. "ke xi bu shi ni"

ugh. wdv. im off.

2005-11-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

well things are.. hmm. weird.

i'm going to get a phonecall ltr. sigh. funny when i wanted to get phonecalls i get hardly any, and when i dont want, i get more then i need. wth.

doing art now. getting kinda worried. going to pia tonight. tml no time to do. i've got an outing tml. heh. been studying so much im gettiny myself confused these days. need some fresh shopping mall air.

these fews days ive found out that ppl in my class are so trustworthy. and they hardly lie and stuff.

today went out with crystal and ryuta. and they were acting really dumb lah. so i'm like watching a really erm.. interesting and erm.. sick? show through lunch. fortunately mel juz and gang were there. so i wasn't so lonely lah. and i was being abit mean? like i didnt let ryuta lay a finger on me? yeah was kinda sensitive lah.

tt's y e person im gg out with tml, is trustable. or i wont even bother going out lah. cos i'll flip. heh.

ok i wanna go now.

2005-11-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

Seems like just like yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight
Everything felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cried
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life

Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cried
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No i dont cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cried
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cried
Behind this hazel eyes

2005-11-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

today's my parents anniversary lah. and my dad's working.

tml's maths. mr gee's coming in 1 and a 1/2 hrs. yay 4 hrs of maths tuition. brilliant. i can just taste the excitement there. ah wdv.

crystal wants me to study at school tml. hmm wonder why. or is it secret receipe? anw i've gotta meet ms ng tml so it doesnt matter either way.

nick wanted to call me to talk last night. wasn't in the mood at all. so i came up with some reasons and went to sleep. what a time for him to contact me lah. ah owell.

cant believe i've still got time to blog. and my com's becoming blardy slow for some reason. i think the wireless my dad got is so useless. i rather he used the old one. i'm like dying a hundred years while waiting for a dumb page to load.

really hope i can get 15points.

oh yeah i know its really kinda late, but i gotta thank anadee. cos she was so sweet. and i'll kill the next person who dares break her heart (:

thanks for the
2 kitkats
campbell soup (packet)
coffee
apple
the card
the bookmark

the situation i am in now, she was in it too. so she knows thanks ehhhhhhhhh.

ok i wanna sleep before my 4 hr battle.

the next person who breaks a promise, yeah. that's it.
bye

2005-11-09T22:16:00.000-08:00

i don't know what will happen if i looked straight at you.

5 more days actually meant something special. now its just another day. i guess. thank God i've got no paper that day. I think i would have failed it.

ryuta said some stuff over lunch/dinner. he said all guys are jerks? not that i believe that. with a face like his, he never seems serious.

here's a list of things he claims why guys ditch girls:

1. they're bored.
2. they like someone else
3. they want to save money on sms

then i said, "you sure all guys, or just you" and i went back brooding again. yeah i think everyone knows why. i don't believe him of course. i don't believe guys are like that.

here is what i hope i'll achieve for o's:
english- b3/a2?
chinese- b3
maths- a1
sciences- b3/a2 (cos of chem)
humans- b3
art- b3
pac- like i dont even bother. i just study it for andrea.

overall hopefull 15pts? then i can get into sajc. through the back door lah. but nvm.

after o's i can finally start brooding properly. i'm seriously looking forward to it and maybe.. owell. let's wait for the 22nd. yeah hell will break lose. actually its more of the 18th. who wants to be my movie buddy after that? please sign up. thanks.

i'm free tonight. tml pia-ing paper 2 maths. 4 hrs with mr gee. that's going to be fun. heh. physics was fine today. chem sucked because i changed a correct ans to a wrong one at the last min. yeah and it was a linking question. blardy hell. 7 marks? wdv. i could've have scored well for chem lah. heck it.

oh yah today's compo was interesting. about marriage. guess what i wrote about? yeah the husband threatened to dumped the wife. but i gave her a happy ending. cos it was too gloomy and stuff.

yeah. dont feel like blogging anymore.

2005-11-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

you seemed to have moved on? i don't know.

owell. chem sucked.

2005-11-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

' your ignorance is keeping me at bay.

ok just back from church. home alone. first time in a long time. church service was kinda meaningful today. it was abt being strong. made me think alot. and not procrastinating cos you'll regret it sooner or later.

thinking alot. i wonder why.

bye people.

2005-11-05T05:01:00.000-08:00

i decided to delete the all the post since last friday.

its 5:01am in the morning. i haven't slept at all. cant sleep for some reason. so i studied abit and i surfed the net.

my previous entries. sigh. i dont know how to express them now.

owell.

i miss you. but owell.

' am i really different? cos i just dont get it then.

i feel like an idiot. waiting for a sms. sigh. owell then.

bye

2005-10-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

hello. cant believe i still have time to even blog lah. but i cant help it. cyber world and me are inseperable. yeah i know. it sounds corny.

oh yah. people, please take care, bird flu's coming. yeah.

and bloggers, be careful. or you'll be sued.

i'm feeling kinda far. but owell. i guess it has to be like this for awhile. even how much it pains me. somehow, all of us are hurt. one way or another. i just want this all over soon. i cant stand feeling like my life's some stagnant piece of shit. ugh.

thank God for aunty kimmy. i'm hopeless w/o her. hope that she and crystal would be okay. more like pray. i know their sad despite their smiles. i feel so sad for them. sigh why do bad things happen to nice people?

owell. i better go. there's a mountain of tuition hmwk awaiting me. bye.

`i feel so desperately lonely, somehow.
a emptiness at the pit i cant fill.

2005-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

ok the previous entry was downright pathetic. wrote it like almost an hour ago i think. but now its 12pm on the dot. so its actually yesterday.

anw, i'm kinda depressed now. like WHY? i've no idea can. ok maybe i do know why lah. but i dont believe that is y im so down now. kept my hopes up then brought it down. just one sms. thank you very much.

i wonder why. i keep think of the past 2 years, comparing them to now. i miss people like debbie and samantha. >< we were like sustaining each other throughout band pracs and performances. honestly, i miss my instrument. my god. how long has it been?

ryuta and crystal are finally ok. then i think he was serious about asking her out, but owell. with him, when his serious is kinda vague lah. so owell. then we studied at bishan cc. then ryuta keep stealing my stuff and hiding them in his pants and stuff. we're more like entertainment to the others studying there. ok more like a distractment. haha but owell.

ok i wanna go le. i got someone to sms.
byebye.

2005-10-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

these days, perfection means everything. countdown to the big O is exactly 14 days, 2 weeks to the chopping board. i'm going to suffer a nervous breakdown soon, even though its not evident.

managed to sneaked online. i dont think i can survive long. i have 2 tuition lessons every day.

suddenly online blogging isnt that appealing anymore.

i can feel the animosity.

2005-10-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

HEY. maybe i should expose this blog. haha. its like kinda boring lah.

ok went out to study with crystal and ryuta today. and the atmosphere was kinda tensed. >< felt like the middle person. i hope crystal's fine. ugh ryuta's fine, but LOL. owell. then when crystal asked ryuta to lend her his jacket, we saw the truth abt him. he's another one of those stick ppl. haha hilarious.

ok then saw some band members. they were like erm.. hmm. cant really point my finger to it. then a whole pile of boxes fell in front of them. so i was like erm.. hmm. amused? then crystal was like erm.. amused too? cant really describe how we felt. yeah.

ah crystal just called. god she's hearbroken can. but come to think of it. she does have a right to be sad. like he was damn close with her. and her mum too. like gg to her place every day for like... months? and her mum also knows him quite well. now his not even contacting her or anything? like JERK please.

somehow. i feel fortunate. (:

yeahhhhhhhh. ok i gotta go study. byebye.

2005-10-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

i almost blogged at my previous blog. haha how lame.

i got the urge to fling my printer out of the window. WHY MUST IT WORK AGAINST ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS? LIKE WHY? I JUST WANT TO COMPLETE MY ART. IS THAT SO HARD TO COMPILE? gawd, i'm fuming. yeah how dumb, wasting my breath on a dumb printer.

how really dumb.

on the lighter note, the feeling of completion is finally arriving. its just another few steps away. (: giggles. no more "mr wang. the computer's hanging again" or "mr wang, there's something wrong with the printer". aww. how i'll definitely miss these days. BUT, i'm through with art. once and for all.

now, there's nothing much i can do. thanks to my damn printer lah. haha. owell.

tml maybe having lunch with mel and juz. it's going to be interesting. hmm. funny how life turned.

haha funny. funny sunny. its funny okay alistair. haha. not like your going to read this. haha you dont even know abt it. (:

ok i better go art again. bye people.
ciao.

2005-10-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

i'm now at the point of time when you hit rock-bottom and every good thing turn to ash?

i'm now coming out of that period. (: i think. i hope. ok i'm praying abt it. bad news comes in many forms eh? sometimes it comes in forms of best friends.

i'm just worried what i went through would be played all over again on someone i care about. but i dont want to hurt anyone at the same time.

owell. just hope things go well. i'm not going to associate myself with him in any other way anymore. just take it as if nothing has happened. yeah. (: cos i got the best anyway.

i'm kinda thankful that i've graduated. in one way. such things can be then easily forgotten. and i can be truly thankful for what i have. yeah 2 more mths. this 3 weeks im going to to chiong all the way.

ok i gtg . bye.

2005-10-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

hey. new blog. haha. (: not telling people abt it yet.

lalala. ok i have to go now.

byebye.